As a wizened (ahem) mom now that we've almost made it ten months, here's some things I wish I had been told before I had Zoë.
1. Sometimes everything gets better when you sit down, put your feet up and pretend that there is no laundry to do.
2. Sometimes everything gets better when you actually start a load of laundry. And if that's all you get done during the day, good for you.
3. Sometimes you just need to sit down with your good friends Facebook and Pinterest.
4. Sometimes you need to just call a friend. A real one.
5. Lonely days are universal, especially at the beginning. Let yourself be lonely sometimes, but don't let it become a habit. Some days are simply bad days.
6. Yes, you love your baby. Yes, he or she is supremely adorable and above average. Make sure you have other things to talk about after you've discussed the above.
7. Everyone has opinions on:
a) diapering
b) potty-training
c) sleep-training
d) bottles
d) bottles
e) introducing solid foods (and making your own)
f) working outside the home
g) date nights and their importance
8. Because of said opinions, it's easy to feel overwhelmed because you don't have it figured out. Don't worry: neither do they, they are just louder.
9. It's okay to think about your pre-baby days. It's okay to mourn that you've lost some freedom (okay, most of your freedom.)
10. It's okay to realize that your baby is the best thing that ever happened to you. And it’s okay to come very slowly to that realization.
11. It's okay to cry when the baby is crying.
f) working outside the home
g) date nights and their importance
8. Because of said opinions, it's easy to feel overwhelmed because you don't have it figured out. Don't worry: neither do they, they are just louder.
9. It's okay to think about your pre-baby days. It's okay to mourn that you've lost some freedom (okay, most of your freedom.)
10. It's okay to realize that your baby is the best thing that ever happened to you. And it’s okay to come very slowly to that realization.
11. It's okay to cry when the baby is crying.
12. It's okay to not want to be THAT mom.
13. It's okay when you realize that you ARE that mom.
14. It's okay when you realize that you are YOUR mom.
14. It's okay to leave 3 or 4 pages of single-spaced hand-written notes the first time you leave your baby with a non-family member. Realize, though, that the babysitter probably will stop halfway down the first page. Put all the really super important stuff up top.
15. Important people in your life will have lots of opinions about you and your child. Just because they are your parents, boss, pastor, teacher, or Super Nanny doesn't mean that what they think is always right. It might be. It also might not be.
16. You need people to be on your team that support you. Find people like that if you don't have any. There's not a prize for being an island.
17. You don't have to be good at everything.
18. Overloaded diaper bags only make your shoulder hurt. No matter how you try to plan for everything, you can't.
19. Learn to extend grace to other moms. Everyone is trying their hardest. Just because they came to a different opinion on child-raising techniques doesn't mean they are wrong.
20. Quit comparing yourself to others. There's always someone more peaceful/ contented/satisfied/ talented/ stylish. You're perfect the way you are. You can do this.
And one to grow on:
{21. Everyone struggles, even perfect people. }
