20 things I wish I'd known

As a wizened (ahem) mom now that we've almost made it ten months, here's some things I wish I had been told before I had Zoƫ.

1. Sometimes everything gets better when you sit down, put your feet up and pretend that there is no laundry to do.

2. Sometimes everything gets better when you actually start a load of laundry. And if that's all you get done during the day, good for you.

3. Sometimes you just need to sit down with your good friends Facebook and Pinterest.

4. Sometimes you need to just call a friend. A real one.

5. Lonely days are universal, especially at the beginning. Let yourself be lonely sometimes, but don't let it become a habit. Some days are simply bad days.

6. Yes, you love your baby. Yes, he or she is supremely adorable and above average. Make sure you have other things to talk about after you've discussed the above.

7. Everyone has opinions on:
      a) diapering

      b) potty-training
      c) sleep-training
      d) bottles 
      e) introducing solid foods (and making your own)
      f) working outside the home
      g) date nights and their importance

8. Because of said opinions, it's easy to feel overwhelmed because you don't have it figured out. Don't worry: neither do they, they are just louder.

9. It's okay to think about your pre-baby days. It's okay to mourn that you've lost some freedom (okay, most of your freedom.)

10. It's okay to realize that your baby is the best thing that ever happened to you. And it’s okay to come very slowly to that realization.

11. It's okay to cry when the baby is crying.

12. It's okay to not want to be THAT mom.

13. It's okay when you realize that you ARE that mom.

14. It's okay when you realize that you are YOUR mom.

14. It's okay to leave 3 or 4 pages of single-spaced hand-written notes the first time you leave your baby with a non-family member. Realize, though, that the babysitter probably will stop halfway down the first page. Put all the really super important stuff up top.

15. Important people in your life will have lots of opinions about you and your child. Just because they are your parents, boss, pastor, teacher, or Super Nanny doesn't mean that what they think is always right. It might be. It also might not be.

16. You need people to be on your team that support you. Find people like that if you don't have any. There's not a prize for being an island.

17. You don't have to be good at everything.

18. Overloaded diaper bags only make your shoulder hurt. No matter how you try to plan for everything, you can't.

19. Learn to extend grace to other moms. Everyone is trying their hardest. Just because they came to a different opinion on child-raising techniques doesn't mean they are wrong.

20. Quit comparing yourself to others. There's always someone more peaceful/ contented/satisfied/ talented/ stylish. You're perfect the way you are. You can do this.

And one to grow on: 

{21. Everyone struggles, even perfect people. }


  1. Carrie, this was great. 12,13,14 made me really laugh! Thanks for sharing!!


    1. Thanks, Cherissa! Do you ever open your mouth and realize, wait...I'm about to become THAT mom. I check myself all.the.time. :) Good to hear from you!

  2. You go, girl. Listen to your inner voice. She's usually right. Enjoy these days! Next thing you know you'll be college shopping. No exaggeration… seriously. It happened so fast I still have whiplash! ;)

    1. Ah, thanks. I try to enjoy them. She's already needing me less and less at only ten months. It's so precious, all this time together.

  3. So true, Carrie. I know that God can use any and all things to sanctify His people, but there seems to be nothing quite so effective as parenting, mothering in particular! At least for me, it has been 12 years of slaying pride!

    One more nugget I've discovered: Even the most godly and wise people do not share my deep love for my child. Sometimes this makes them more objective and, therefore, wise and helpful. Other times it means their objectivity is based on the external and not my child's heart. Which reminds me...

    I'm so thankful that God is the truly the Shepherd and He uses even my failures to shape my children into what He desires for them!

    I love your blog!

    1. Amy,

      Thank you! You have some really good insights. Sometimes we do need an outside perspective. I think I've found that I try to follow EVERYONE'S advice & get so hopelessly confused and frustrated. I'm slowly learning to take everything to God first, rather than running to others to help me think through everything. His wisdom is perfect.

  4. Beautiful thoughts...even for those of us who aren't Moms. Good things for everyone to remember. I especially like the one about "no prize for being an island." Zoe is growing so fast - such a beauty! Just like her Momma - from the inside out! Miss you!

  5. I loved this post! (But I do love all of them :) I am so glad I will have you to call once our little one is here!

  6. Loved this post and especially #1. I will keep this in mind when I go down the motherhood road. Your honesty is inspiring Carrie...I wish you lived in California so we could grab a coffee or dinner every once in a while!


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