Child of weakness, watch and pray

My children stack up all the pillows they can find. They pile up higher than my one and a half year old's head. I see Zoe peering over the side of her tower and I stand there, smiling, trying to understand their game. I push aside a pillow that has fallen off the top.

It's a wall, cries Zoe. Don't knock it down!
Why a wall, I ask.
We are building it, she says, in the all-knowing logic of a three year old.
But what is your game, Zo?
The game is the wall, Mommy.

My life feels unordered right now. Again I find myself in a season of transition, and while one of my choosing, I feel unsteady and unsettled. What do I do now that I'm home? Staying at home doesn't feel enough. I should be running a side business, working on my writing, teaching part-time, running an at-home daycare, going back to school, working towards something.

I've never sat still easily. What's the plan? What's next? I love to know. I want to know.

But I don't, and I can't, and in this season I will sit. I will wait. I will find the joy in the small things, in my small ones. I will watch and pray. I will learn rather than teach. I may find that the game is the wall. The building of small lives is the plan, is the work. And as long as this season lasts, I will search for grace.

On weddings and the joy of sleeping in your own bed...part one.

Last weekend we flew to Greenville, South Carolina to see my brother marry a fabulous girl. Since my mom is originally from North Carolina, a lot of her extended family was able to join us there. We had a wonderful time being together. The weather was gorgeous and cooperated fully except that it started raining during the ceremony and everyone had to mill about inside while the chairs were moved to the reception. It was a very small inconvenience and everything was just delightful. Steph has such a sense of style and everything was decorated so well!

Everything, except darling Zoë decided that pack-and-plays in hotel rooms were unsuitable for sleeping. We left Wichita at 7 am on Friday, getting to Greenville around noon. Mom & Dad picked us up at the airport and when we got back to the hotel, Zoë did fall asleep for a little nap in our hotel room. She won't go to sleep if she can see us, so as dutiful parents we camped outside the door until she stopped crying.

That night, same story, second verse...fussed and cried loudly for a while but finally went to sleep. Woke up at 1:45 in the morning and would.not.be.soothed. We had a room with double beds, so my pregnant self and all my necessary pillows took one bed, and Nathaniel took the other. I put Zoë in bed with me, and she laid quietly for a little while, then I tried putting her back in her pack-and-play. Nothing doing. She immediately stood up and started crying.

Put her back in bed with me.

Wouldn't fall asleep. Fussed. Cried. Flopped.

Finally told Nathaniel, "Your turn..."

He took her into his bed. Up and down, back and forth to the pack-and-play. Around 2:45, we decided she just needed to fuss it out and hopefully was so tired it would only take a few minutes. Nope. At this point she was crying. Loudly. At 3 am, knock on the door (and she'd just quieted down, of course.) Hotel management. Report of a loudly crying baby on floor 5.

Right. Yes, we know. And what would you have us do? It's not like we aren't in here with her. It's 3 in the morning. She's a baby. Babies cry. Where shall we go with her?

So at a little after 3, Nathaniel, bless his Daddy heart, took her down to the hotel lobby. She finally fell asleep on the sofa in the lobby around 5:30 and he brought her back upstairs.

Up & at em at 7. My turn then and she & I went downstairs for breakfast while Nathaniel slept a bit longer.

Part two tomorrow...

Lyle sleeping...give Zoë some lessons, will you?

Loving on her cousin

Rehearsal

Steph & Mike & their pastor

Steph & Lyle & Kim...Lyle made friends everywhere he went!

Fun with Daddy

Yesterday was quite fun. We went to Saturday night church the night before (a first for us, and I can see why people enjoy it...you get your whole Sunday free!) We went out to eat for breakfast, then to OJ Watson park to go paddleboating and to eat snowcones, back home for a nap and then to Nathaniel's parents' house. All in all a really wonderful day. Thanks, babe, for being such a great Daddy to Zoe. We love you!

Eggcetera in Old Town...they have a really wonderful Greek omelet

Paddleboating

Following the Yellow Brick Road

Zoe LOVES to swing. Woe to us if she sees swings in the distance at a park.
Once she sees them, it's all over for us!

Zoe's first trip to the beach

Oh, how I love the ocean. I wonder if it's because I live smack-dab in the middle of the country, miles and miles and hours and hours away from the coastline. Or do I love it so much because I have such happy family memories of beach trips? Whatever the reasons, I feel like I'm coming home when I get a glimpse of the water and smell that salty air.  I really wanted Zoe to experience the beach this summer. When my side of the family ended up deciding against the beach trip (due to a really great reason: my brother's fabulous upcoming wedding in October in South Carolina), I was disappointed to not have a week at the beach.

But it ended up working out! We just got back from a week on the East Coast visiting Nathaniel's side of the family. We started in Raleigh and then visited his sister Rachel in Chesapeake. One day the weather was forecasted to be mostly sunny, so after Zoe's morning nap, we packed up and hit Virginia Beach! It was only for two hours, but boy were they glorious! Thanks, Rach, for organizing this crew for a most wonderful outing!

Watching Veggie Tales to pass the time...are we there yet? 

She wasn't sure about the sand at first

Ooh, don't take me too far out!

I could absolutely live here. Sorry, Kansas!

Mama and Zoe

Beautiful Auntie Rach

Cousin J

Conquerers of the sandcastle! Uncle Than with K, I & J!

150 words on...

Welcome to a new series.

I and some dear friends will be posting on various topics in the coming weeks. One things in common will be the brevity of these posts: only 150 words or less. Less is more!

Look for them on upcoming Fridays. Enjoy!

Read 150 words on Joy after the jump...