Nine months

Nine months old!

My first year as a teacher was marked by these qualifications: I’d taken classes on methodology and discipline, I’d learned how to organize a lesson using well-written objectives, I’d proved myself capable of keeping a group of students in line during student teaching, I’d interviewed and was offered a position. I had enthusiasm and naïveté in my corner.  I had no clue what was coming that first year. I had no idea how hard it would be to be a teacher.

Many nights I stayed late at school. Often I’d go to school on Sunday afternoons. Many times I would simply stare at my teacher’s edition, reading and rereading the lesson notes and ideas. I didn’t know where to start or how to start. Why wasn’t it easier? I’d graduated with a degree in this. I’d finally piece together a lesson, only to teach it the next day and end up with 30 extra minutes to fill at the end of the hour. Or, I’d plan a lesson and be surprised to discover it was going to take three class periods to finish. My first year of teaching was characterized by high levels of stress. I learned the hard lesson of admitting that what I was trying wasn’t working. I learned that asking for help didn’t mean that I wasn’t capable of my doing my job.

Now, as I reflect on the first nine months that I’ve been a mother, I realize that Zoë and I have made it for the length of a school year. My beginnings as a mother were marked by fewer qualifications: I’d made it to numerous doctor appointments, I’d read every chapter of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, I’d made it through labor and was sent home with a baby. Enthusiasm and  naïveté  were in my corner. I had no clue how hard it would be to be a mother.

Just as student teaching didn’t truly prepare me for teaching, reading books and being pregnant didn’t prepare me for mothering.  I’ve learned that my intelligence and enthusiasm don’t always equal a happy baby, nor does an unhappy baby mean that I’m a bad mother. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, and more importantly it’s okay to need help. Just like in teaching, with mothering I've realized that you can plan all you want, you can be as prepared as you can be, you can have as much knowledge as your head will hold, and you'll still have to change your plans and learn and adapt and admit that you don't have a clue. 

Zoë, we've made it nine months! Good for us! Let's give our next "school year" our best, okay? Okay.


  1. I just want you to know how much I am enjoying all of your musings on this blog! Watching you navigate through this journey of motherhood always brings a smile to my face. I remember my early days of mothering and trying to "find my niche". When I thought I had it figured out, God in his wonderful sense of humor, would prove otherwise! This is a precious time of growing and learning for both of you. As I reflect back on my almost 25 years of parenting, I know without a doubt in my heart, that being home with my children has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Love you much!!

    1. Thanks, Erica! It is a journey! It's kind of like Abraham saying "Yes, Lord," even though he didn't know where God was sending him. I'm committed to being the best Mom I can be, but it's still so murky sometimes!

  2. "I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, and more importantly it’s okay to need help."
    Pfsh. And you call yourself naive? That is wisdom many of us don't acquire for YEARS!
    Glad you're enjoying motherhood. It keeps getting better and better. Enjoy the ride!

  3. Ah, thanks, Kimberly. I think sometimes putting things in writing means that our hearts have started to believe them. Love reading your blog & your adventures in Colorado!

  4. Love it! You are a great writer! I can totally relate to the teaching segment! :):)


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